Do you ever wonder why sex and intimacy are no longer all that spontaneous and exciting in a long term relationship?

You might say, well, the obvious answer is that it's been 15/20/35/etc. years and, of course, things get a bit mechanical and aren’t as new and hot as they were in the beginning of the relationship.

What if there’s a different perspective - one that is empowering rather than resigned?

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In my work with men, I don’t only address the “inner” work men have to do in order to become those great lovers they desire to be, but we also spend some time unpacking the relationship dynamic that they currently have or have had with their partners.

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Without your heart, your love being on board, sex techniques are just mechanical movements.

For the last few months when my partner made love to me, I cried. And he’s been so incredibly present for me in those moments.

His heart and his presence were so healing.

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Boundaries are the “energetic limits” that you know in your gut you can’t have anyone or even yourself cross because it will hurt your well being.

How do you know those limits? You learn yourself inside out. Certainly, you make mistakes and get burned. That will also be an indicator for establishing boundaries.

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Sometimes, during my sessions with my clients, spiritual experiences happen for them.

A breathwork process might for example lead to a full-body openness where you feel tears of joy and gratitude overflowing from you as if you were on ecstasy.

I haven't written much about this so as not to scare anyone with woo woo stuff. But I do have clients who come to me because they want to go deeper - because they know that sex is so much more than just a physical activity we do with a tension release at the end.

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Have you ever thought about how you would like to show up sexually? What identity/persona you would like to put forward in the bedroom?

What desires YOU have (not what your partner wants you to have or be)? And I’m not talking threesomes, anal, and kinky sex, though these are valid desires, too.

Rather, I’m referring to the level of depth that you take your sexuality to. How would you like to feel when you make love? What nuances would you consider for your sexual narrative?

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Attention is your most valuable currency.

This struck me when one of my teachers - OM Rupani - posted about it. And then I experienced this with my partner in a more distinct way.

As a woman, I will respond to a man who offers me his undivided attention (or PRESENCE, which I wrote about previously).

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A lot of people are so curious about Tantra… often because of a popular belief that mastering tantric techniques allows you to have sex that lasts 5 hours or longer!!! :) What?!!!

I've been there & I can tell you for sure - it is all possible! I have had long sessions with a tantric lover & they were absolutely mind blowing!

And that is what I teach men in my 1-on-1 coaching.

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