WHO ARE YOU SEXUALLY? WHO DO YOU WANT TO BE?
Hey there,
Have you ever thought about how you would like to show up sexually? What identity/persona you would like to put forward in the bedroom?
What desires YOU have (not what your partner wants you to have or be)? And I’m not talking threesomes, anal, and kinky sex, though these are valid desires, too.
Rather, I’m referring to the level of depth that you take your sexuality to. How would you like to feel when you make love? What nuances would you consider for your sexual narrative?
A lot of us never really think this way.
The majority of men are so deeply entrenched in performance-based sex that nothing ever goes beyond that. But to be honest with you, women don’t really care about your performance.
“If my penis doesn’t work, there is something wrong with me and I feel deep shame about it and I better go consult my doctor for pills.”
As much as I feel for you, men, I demand that you really wake up and begin listening to the cues your body gives you.
Perhaps you are tired, your energy level is low, you haven’t had enough sleep, you worry too much about family/COVID/money/fires of all kinds, you are overweight and drink alcohol, you’re having problems with your partner, you haven’t grieved your heartbreak in forever or your parent’s death... etc, etc.
All these things, from the smallest (low energy level) to the biggest (trauma), can and will contribute to how you show up in the bedroom.
There is nothing really wrong with you, you are not broken, you do not have performance issues.... all you have to do is:
Slow the f..k down
Spend some time with yourself/your body
Inquire within
Fill up your body with the energy it needs
Let go of toxic substances/porn/stupid habits
Let the tears out, grieve or get angry (yes, you are allowed and it’s totally OK)
Shift your mindset
Create a sexual narrative that is empowering for you and be rooted in it regardless of what your partner says
Commit to living it daily
I advocate for you to live in your power and your truth. That is what matters most - and that's what’s attractive to her and what will have you be hard and confident and sexy AF!
I might have gone a bit "Dominatrix" on you here, but sometimes a bit of tough love is needed! :)
Curious how you can work with me one-on-one? Please feel free to schedule a 30 min discovery call (it is FREE).
Much love and gratitude,
Iryna