YOUR WOMAN'S OPENNESS IS HER RESPONSIBILITY - BUT YOU CAN HELP

Hey there,

A lovely man came to an intro call with me at a loss, because for 8 years (pretty much the entire time he’d been with his wife) intimacy had always been an issue.

All other aspects of their life were very much aligned, but not physical intimacy. She would withdraw sex from him, it would be very infrequent, or it would be a fast, no foreplay, “put it in and be done with it” type of intimacy.

From his perspective, he had tried all possible measures available to help her open up and make her want to have sex with him (counseling, toys, creating ambiance, sexy lingerie, conversations to open up the marriage and even divorce etc.).

He came to me because he started feeling inadequate and was losing his confidence. He thought that working with me could at least help him gain that confidence back.

The truth is, this man will get his confidence back and will have the intimacy he desires, but he will have to become his wife’s healer. That is not the easiest of tasks, and takes patience, time, commitment and skill. He will need to go beyond toys, ambiance with candles, sexy lingerie, taking her on vacation or watching porn together. Though these add-ons can be wonderful, they are superficial and won’t help at the core.

What is needed from both of them is a vulnerable heart-to-heart conversation about their deepest fears and desires around sex. And safety and trust that neither partner will run away once all those deep, gut-wrenching fears will be voiced. And letting go of any goal and orgasm-oriented sex.

It will take some tears, some resistance, and pain to move into the desired closeness, connection, pleasure and openness. It will take dismantling of old limited beliefs on her part and her taking RESPONSIBILITY for her body, her pleasure and her opening.

This work isn’t for the faint-hearted. It takes courage and trust. But it’s possible.

I feel called to guide them both as a couple.

If you are reading this and finding yourself in similar circumstance, feel free to reach out. I'd love to hear from you. Book a free intro call here.

Much love and gratitude,

Iryna