This is the Only Thing She Truly Needs to Open Up to You

Hey there,
 

If you asked me what was the number one thing that profoundly impacted my ability to open up to men sexually and emotionally, I would say - SAFETY!

The depth into which I've been able to let myself go has always correlated with how much a man could be present with his mind, heart, and genitals.

When I say safety, I don't mean physical safety. I mean emotional safety. 

I have always yearned in my partnerships to open and deepen and surrender, and only with a certain quality of presence from a man could I feel safe to go there. 

What does this mean in actuality? 

It means that when I come to my man with the bigness of my emotions and share my vulnerable heart - he sees and feels me. He doesn't try to fix me and problem-solve my situation. He is present with all his masculine essence and loving heart to hold what is there. 

It means that when we have sex, and I wail so hard the neighbors could hear, or I am in a blissful experience, he is in all of it, too. He doesn't move from any of it but welcomes it all. He truly sees me. 

It means that when I come to him and share how I feel about his withdrawal from me, his lack of presence in some moments, the choices he's made for us, or his not-so-attuned touch of my body, he is listening, with his whole body and doesn't fall into his smallness or shame, but is there to receive me with my pain. 

It means he doesn't please me to make me feel better; he doesn't engage in my emotional anger outrage. He is faithful to himself, his core, and his boundaries. And when he is this way - I trust him even more! His solidity in himself, his beingness, and his actions make me feel safe, respect, and trust him. 

So, how can you today create safety for your female partner? 

It starts with your inner work. 

To be honest, it is a high order. Quite a few can get there. But I assure you that if you start with at least a consistent 10-minute practice a day of cultivating a deeper presence with yourself first (this means disciplining your mind and really becoming aware of yourself and your feelings; meditation can help), she will notice. 

And if you desire 1:1 support, schedule a free 30-minute consultation with me here: https://calendly.com/iryna-sulim/30min

Warmly,

Iryna