THE 7 MISTAKES THAT KILL SEXUAL CHEMISTRY - AND THE 5 WAYS TO REIGNITE THE SPARK
Hey there,
Loss of sexual desire is one of the core problems most couples face at some point in their relationship. Maybe you’ve been there before yourself, or are experiencing this struggle right now.
But what if you could avoid the pitfalls that lead you into this relationship hell, and learn the skills that will lead you out of it? You can. Read on below.
The 7 mistakes that kill sexual chemistry in relationships:
1. Logistical conversations anywhere, anytime
Not allocating specific time to talk about practical, household-related matters and instead letting them infiltrate your bedroom or a date night. (This includes talking about other people's lives instead of being in the mystery of your own relationship.)
2. Complacency
Complacency is taking the other person for granted. You allow the relationship to run on autopilot while prioritizing other things. For example, you focus on your business, thinking that your relationship will figure itself out. You stop seeing your partner's beauty as something extraordinary, and you stop appreciating how present they are with you. Netflix on the couch replaces romantic weekend getaways. Saying "bye" without lifting your eyes from the computer replaces "l'll miss you" with an affectionate hug. Not initiating dates/romantic getaways etc.
3. Too much sameness for too long
Spending all your time together: same activities, same hobbies, same friends, same bed, parenting, living together without taking space to be in your own energy, sharing a business etc.
You no longer know who you are outside the container of your relationship. This often comes with codependence whereby your partner becomes your only source of happiness. Expecting them to meet all of your needs will create too much pressure and needy expectation - which will kill any spark.
4. Disconnection from your core sexual essence
This one happens to women more often than men. If your woman chooses to spend a lot of time in her masculine energy without replenishing her feminine...it will disconnect her from her sexual aliveness. So it's important to watch out for this.
5. Stress and pressures of life
Mental stress produces cortisol. For the nervous system, this feels like being under continuous threat. When you have to take care of your survival first, pleasure and intimacy become irrelevant. Also, stress keeps you stuck in your head. Even when you want to feel, relax and let go, connecting to your sexuality will feel like a challenge.
6. Resentment
Resentment is the energetic & emotional debris that builds up each time you don't express your truth. When it accumulates, it armors your heart which will in turn block your sexuality.
7. Bad sex
Feeling unmet sexually, being touched in ways that are not attuned to our bodies, and feeling performance anxiety (experienced by both men and women), all can shut down sexual desire. Cultivating sexual desire is A SKILL. It will require your continuous commitment to prioritize it even when it's inconvenient or brings up too much resistance.
There are so many tips, tricks and techniques that claim to help you reignite sexual chemistry. But techniques, if not anchored in the body, will work only temporarily.
Sexual desire arises in the body and in the context of a relationship. Thus, we want to cultivate this skill by doing both the inner and the outer (relationship) work, continuously & at the body level.
The 5 pathways to reigniting your sexual desire:
1. Cultivate your own sexuality.
When you're sexually alive, you naturally want to share it with your beloved & feel more empowered to ask for what you want. (I teach this in my men's course through conscious self-pleasure, breathwork, meditations and semen retention.)
2. Make your relationship intentional.
Does it need more closeness or more space? Do you need more quality time or more quality space?
3. Energetic hygiene.
Move your emotions (energy in motion), don't let things build up. Also, distribute your needs for emotional support outside your relationship. (I have a whole module dedicated to emotional maturity in my program for men.)
4. Give the best of you.
As much as possible. come to your love nest recharged, connected to your body, heart open.
5. Masculine / Feminine dynamics.
Learn how to animate and express these energies to create "erotic tension".
Put these tips into practice.
And most importantly - do not look to your partner "to do the work". This inner work starts with you. Clean up your side of the street, and you will notice that your partner changes as well. This is how it works in a relationship.
So If you are ready to be in control of your sexual experience, and become a conscious and confident lover and partner, join me in "Presence over Performance"! My 10 week course to support men in their journey to sexual mastery.
I'm so looking forward to supporting you in becoming the most amazing lover and man she craves for.
Much love and gratitude,
Iryna