IS BEING A NICE GUY GETTING YOU NOWHERE?
Hey handsome,
From a conversation with a male friend:
“I orchestrated the whole experience for our date. Planned and cooked a delicious dinner, bought her really beautiful expensive gifts, thought through the whole packaging, presentation, and message on the card.
Everything was perfect. And then she got pissy about something minor and the whole mood of the evening was spoiled.”
How many times do you find yourself in that situation?
Do you know why women do this? Why we get pissy over some small thing and blow up the whole experience? Or pick fights over nothing?
On the surface, it might look like being ungrateful and not happy with what is. And always wanting more. And to an extent, we do all have to learn how to train our brains to stay in the present moment and celebrate and appreciate things we are gifted and receive them graciously. But that’s another topic.
In truth, women aren’t getting pissy over one little thing and making a huge deal about it - it is much deeper than that.
We throw a fuss because we really want to see your reaction expressed as your own TRUTH. (This unfolds on a subconscious level, we may not be conscious of it). We want to feel your truth. Deep down, to feel that we can trust you, we want to push and check that you won’t just be a nice guy, try to deflate the situation because you are afraid to upset us, or storm off because you are so afraid of your own feelings or ours.
What we want is for you to speak your truth, your honest reaction, in a steady and “owning it” way. Putting your foot down, speaking it as if your life depends on it. If that means losing this relationship, so be it.
What if your honest reaction is anger? Good. Just stay away from calling us names and being abusive.
We actually want to see your anger expressed. We want to feel your wolf or your lion (whichever archetype you identify with).
We get resentful towards you when we don’t feel that you are leading us in this relationship, this date, this dance, this life.
Compliance, pleasing us, being a “nice guy” doesn’t turn us on. We will look for another man who will inspire that turn on.
Niceness doesn't evoke respect, your truth does. We want to desire you and be turned on for you, because a man who leads, who is assertive, who figured out his inner wants, needs, and boundaries is so hot and sexy.
And YOU have all it takes to be that leader NOW!
And I'll happily support you in this! Schedule a FREE introductory call with me and learn more about the 1-on-1 coaching container and online courses I offer.
Much love and gratitude,
Iryna