3 STEPS FOR MOVING THROUGH LOW MOMENTS

Hey there,

My life isn’t all trust and surrender… to be honest, sometimes that’s actually the hardest state for me to be in.

My operating system default in moments of distress is gripping, tightening, fighting or armouring myself.

As a kid I created a story that I can only rely on myself and that trusting humans is dangerous, including my parents. So I was a loner for the majority of my life. I had friends and boyfriends, and quite a fulfilling social life. However, opening myself up, like for real - hmm… that was only for a very selected few.

One weekend my default MO kicked in. I fell deep into the darkness and dragged my partner with me. I was a mess and I’m not proud of it. But I know now that it was a huge contraction I was going through because a lot in my life was shifting and expanding on a huge level and very rapidly. My nervous system was having a hard time processing it all. 🤪

So what do you do when you find yourself in a deep dark hole of despair, and maybe also embarrassed about it?

1. Accept the state you are in and move through it. Move with any despair, contraction, sadness, anger, or embarrassment, in order to move through it. I let my body shake. Having practiced this for a while, my body now goes into shaking automatically when I experience tension or trauma. I just let her.

2. Ask for help. I asked my partner to hold me, be there for me. It’s not what I do usually (I have a coach and a therapist to process) but in emergency moments like the one I was in, he can be my immediate support. And I am so grateful for this man.

3. Rest. Soothe your nervous system or seek out pleasure. I indulged in my favorite pastry with coffee sitting with my partner on the grass in the park and doing our favorite ritual - The Relationship Church. 😍😊😄

And so I was back. I returned to neutral. And then I felt myself on an upward spiral again.

These moments of contractions happen to us all the time. Sometimes the dip is more steep and sudden, sometimes it’s smooth and gentle.

Do you have tools to move through low moments? Would you like more support here?

Book a free intro session. Can't wait to talk to you!

Much love and gratitude,

Iryna