Why Women Love Bad Boys

Hey there,

This came up in a conversation with my client. 

"Women love bad boys." It is a cliche saying in our society. All "good men" are friend-zoned and left hanging, while "bad" boys (usually they appear overly confident, arrogant, and selfish) get the most popular hot girls. 

Let me elaborate on this. 
 

In essence, we are attracted to men who are connected to the DANGEROUS part of themselves. We love to play with a man who has fire in his belly and power in his balls and can conquer and kill for us, our family, and our community if needed. And at the same time, we love men who are connected to their hearts and feelings. 

Arrogance and selfishness are the shadow parts of the masculine. The other side of this "coin" is leadership and a man's ability to know himself and his needs and express them freely, not being dependent on his woman's desires. 

People-pleasing and overt niceness are the shadow parts of a man who is genuinely loving and kind. 

And so the work of a man is to strive for alignment between his heart and his cock, and integration and acceptance of his "dark" parts.

If you are a "people pleaser/nice guy" and you can never get a hot woman in your bed, your wife does not want to have sex with you, or has been cheating with a hot handyman; your work is to lean into your sexual power, your anger, ownership of your needs, boundaries and healing relationship with your father. 
 

If you are a man who has a hard time finding love and building a long-term relationship with a woman, your work is to connect to your heart, trust life more, develop empathy, and feel your woman more. Also, - a healing relationship with your mother. 

And it is not black and white. There are many paradoxes in this, too, as life is such. 

Imagine ravishing a woman, fully unleashing your lion while at the same time adoring and cherishing every bit of her being. That is some next-level lovemaking! That is what every woman secretly desires. But your woman won't decode it for you in a way I would.

So come and work with me. I'm here to support you on your journey of finding your alignment between your heart and your sex.