How One Man’s Desire Could Transform His Love Life - What Would You Do?
Hey there,
Yesterday, I was holding space for my men’s group, and I wanted to share a vulnerable story (a case study) with you of one of the men in my group. He has been on a journey of sexual and relational awakening. He’s deeply in love with his partner. They have been together for more than a year now. They connect on so many levels and have a great time together. She appreciates everything he offers, and when they make love, it’s truly connected and aligned. But, at the same time, he feels a deeper desire for passion and wild sexual experiences. He craves for her wild slutty woman to come online. She loves him deeply, but that wild, animalistic energy isn’t there.
So, what can he do? He’s in a situation where his desire isn’t fully satisfied. There are three different paths he can take:
Suppress his desire and simply be grateful for the relationship he has, knowing others may not even have that.
Be honest with her and suggest an open relationship, where he can explore this «craving» elsewhere while still maintaining their loving connection. If that is something she will agree to. It won’t be without pain for both of them.
Share his desire vulnerably with her, expressing his yearning for passion and wild sexual experiences, and invite her into that space. For this to happen, she would need to be open and receptive to exploring that part of herself, with him guiding her into it.
He’s feeling some hesitation about sharing this desire, and it’s understandable. He will be the one to start the challenging conversation, because he is the one who feels that what they have has a greater potential to expand deeper. And this will probably mean that she will be ignited to go deeper within herself, on a journey of self discovery, and healing of the parts that fear of this full range of expression. This journey is not for the faint hearted.
For men, this desire for their partner’s full feminine expression is deeply tied to their own masculine leadership as well as his greater sight that more is possible.
Sadly, many people choose the first or the second option—either suppressing the desire or seeking it to be satisfied outside of the relationship. Some even go down the path of cheating, because sharing the truth feels edgy and risky. They fear rejection, hurt, or even losing their partner.
But in my experience, the third path is the most rewarding, because the foundation of love & trust is already there.
If you suppress your desire, it will find a way out in less healthy ways. If you seek it outside the relationship, hurt will come regardless. But if you face the challenge together, though it may be difficult at first, you can deepen your connection. She will surrender more, and he will rise as a man. They may go through a shaky process, but on the other side, they’ll find a stronger, more passionate bond, where both can explore their full selves together.
As for my client, what will he decide? We don’t know yet. He’s still in the process of figuring it out, feeling into it, and taking his time. What I do know is that he will remain honest and authentic with both his desires and his woman, because that’s who he knows himself to be. What do you think he will choose to do?
I’ve been leading this men’s group for more than two years. We meet twice a month, and it’s a fantastic space for men who want monthly accountability, coaching, and mentorship on relationships, intimacy, and sexual awakening. Access to the group is $99/month, with a one-year commitment. Each session, you will be given a chance to share your challenges, updates, or questions and receive coaching from me and feedback from other men. We also incorporate embodiment practices like breathwork and meditation, along with journaling prompts to deepen your journey. Outside of our sessions, we have a Telegram chat for ongoing connection. If you’re curious, I’d be happy to have you join us. https://www.irynasulim.com/gentlemens-club
For those of you on a journey of sexual awakening and self mastery, and desiring 1:1 support, I’d love to work with you - schedule a free 30-minute consultation with me here: https://calendly.com/iryna-sulim/30min
If you’re struggling with performance anxiety, I also offer a free training that’s helped many men become more confident, and masterful lovers. You can sign up for it here: Sign up for the free training here.
Warmly,
Iryna